I didn’t see this first-hand, but I am told by reliable sources that the lead story…. let me say that again…. the LEAD story on the Today Show this morning was the return of the Twinkie.



Of course, the other “real” news of the day is re-hashed not-yet-the-story news like the ongoing George Zimmerman trial and the investigation into the Asiana plane crash. Both of these are the kind of stories that convince us we know what is going on in the world, when we have no clue.

When the Supreme Court is out of session, and Congress is on vacation, sure, there isn’t much hard news to report about public policy, so they have to fill time with something, right? I mean, we have to spend at least five minutes with news that doesn’t involve a celebrity pregnancy, just so we can pat ourselves on the back.

So let’s compare stories properly then. Let’s compare Twinkies with, well, actually I was going to say another food story, but Twinkies are not food. They are a food-like substance. So I really ought to be comparing the Twinkies story with something going on in petrochemical manipulation, but since we’re still calling these things a “food,” I’ll concede for a moment.

Did the Today Show ever even cover Proposition 37 in California and its defeat due to massive spending from the GMO industry? The same industry that said adding a few words to their labels would cost too much, but spent millions in defeating it? Is corporate lying and corruption of the political system too boring when there are stupid tweets by athletes to talk about?

OK, that was months ago. Twinkies are TODAY.

Here’s a story that is in the news right now. It’s one more nail in the coffin of common sense, and it has an attractive female celebrity in it, so maybe it will get some attention. It’s not food specifically, but it’s about health. And part of the problem is that food and health are not reported together in the mainstream. They’re too afraid to say one affects the other. No one wants to be sued like Oprah in the Texas Cattlemen dust-up.

But as long as our country continues down the road of total contradiction, this is what we get.

Every cover of every diabetes magazine in every grocery store looks like this. EVERY SINGLE ONE IS DESSERT. I am not exaggerating. It’s like printing magazines for gunshot wound victims with pictures of Berettas on the cover.


Where was I? I get off on tangents about the conspiracy of the diabetes industry, which we’ll hammer in depth again and again. Another time.

Back to our story..,…

The Sun Will Kill You

Gwyneth Paltrow under fire for suggestion that being in the sun won’t kill you, and may in fact be healthy.

These doctors interviewed are in Canada, so I am not sure what to make of that, but yes, a board certified medical professional just compared the sun to tobacco. That happened.

OK, so when you name your kid Apple, you become subject of ridicule, and in our sound byte short-attention-span culture, you get forever pigeonholed and everything you say becomes a “oh that’s the loony with the strange ideas.” For what it’s worth, I think Apple is a hell of a lot more sensible name than half of my son’s kindergarten classmates have. Even North makes more sense than some of the names I hear locally.

OK, This is night-time. BETTER???

OK, This is night-time. BETTER???

Sing it with me, from Hair: Let…. the sunshine in…. let….. the sunshine in…. the sunshine…. in….

Seriously. There are doctors who think that living our lives entirely within air conditioned buildings lit with fluorescent bulbs, and avoiding being outside in the daytime is HEALTHY. This is the same thinking that allows schools to serve individually packed “sterile and safe” crackers and cookies to kids, but won’t allow actual fresh produce freshly picked to arrive at school in boxes from the field because you know, there might be bugs and that is UNSANITARY.

I’m not saying that Canadian doctors are vampires, but perhaps their next prescription will be this.

Very popular at Fangtasia

Very popular at Fangtasia

We’re living in a time when GMOs are shaking the foundations of economic freedom for farmers across the entire world, where the centralization of the food supply is snowballing at a rate that will soon see the prophesy of a semi-obscure dark 80s comedy come true.


But no, nothing to see here. We have our damnable Twinkies back. Halle-freaking-luia.


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